First real step...

Aside from phone calls and internet research and books, today marks the first real day in my step in the direction of persuing adoption.

Today I travel to a town about an hour away to attend an informational meeting about adoption through foster care.

I am anxious and slightly disappointed. My husband was supposed to attend with me and due to issues getting coverage coaching his hockey team, he cannot go. It almost seems pointless to go without him. I feel like if he hears the information through my mouth, it is going to feel bias because of my desire to be sure he is on board. I wanted him to hear it all from someone else and make his own decisions.

I am lucky to have a friend who I trust to go with me. She has always been a good ear to talk to and she has her own interests in adoption so at least I will have someone to talk the information over with.

I have no idea what to expect. I am hoping it is informative and gets into the technical aspects and doesn't just tell me what I already know via my own research.

I have a lot of questions but I get worried that I will forget them so I am writing them down.

Here are some of the biggies:

-When and where can I find MAPP classes that are adoption specific?

-Does Massachusetts do foster care adoptions where children are placed as "legal-risk" which means they have not been actually cleared for adoption but it looks like it will go that way? If so, how does one handle the need for a lawyer?

-In an adoption where the child's goal is already changed to adoption, are there upfront legal fees?

-At what point does a child learn that a family is looking to adopt them?

- How is a family only going for adoption assigned a case worker?

-What is the difference between going straight through DCF vs. using a non-profit agency?

-Are there really children in the age 3-5 bracket who need homes? Who are the children that are waiting and legally cleared?

I have about a million more but these are my MUST know questions before I can move forward.

I know it will be good to get information but I also have this fear of it all having a negative "warning-like" tone which is the vibe I get from almost everything related to adoption. I know that being realistic is important but without some level of hope and positivity it's hard not to get discouraged.

Wish me luck!